Category: Alive

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Chaos

Words made noise. Emotion caused chaos. Beliefs floated

At least I had my silence I thought. My silences were misquoted

I am learning life lessons because learning must be my mission

A mistake repeated more than once is not a mistake. It’s a decision

Now I know I must make way and leave from where I am not wanted

What I allow is what will continue. I had allowed to be taken for granted

 

Paint was splattered. Hues were darkened. The spotlight shifted

At least I had my authenticity I felt. My truths were shoplifted

I am changing attitudes and affinities because attitudes raise the bar

Your attitude is like a price tag. It shows how valuable you are

Not everyone deserves to know the real me. So many verdicts are spam

My happiness cannot rely on your judgement. Criticize who you think I am

 

People changed. Things ended. Life still goes on

Every night drowned in darkness is always followed by dawn

The world had me believe emotions and opinions must be given vent

As I mature I realize so many things don’t really need my comment

A lifetime isn’t as long as you think. Take a moment and let that sink

Between your choices and your culpabilities there is always a link

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Things I should have….

The lessons I should have learnt

The keepsakes I should have burnt

The attitudes I should have preserved

The responses I should have deserved

The emotions I should have erased

The baggage I should have shed with every phase

The people I should have treasured

The value of things I should have measured

I am standing at crossroads looking at the skies

I am appraising a lifetime and time just flies

 

The aptitudes I should have learnt

The behaviors I should have burnt

The traditions I should have preserved

The approvals I should have deserved

The pessimisms I should have erased

The assurance I should have acquired with every phase

The memories I should have treasured

The worth of relations I should have measured

I am looking back with some qualm some wisdom

I am looking forward to a well-informed freedom

 

The balances I should have learnt

The reluctances I should have burnt

The confidence I should have preserved

The direction I should have deserved

The cynicism I should have erased

The faith I should have gained with every phase

The genuineness I should have treasured

The merit of truth I should have measured

I am walking with the multitude and I am alone

I am dwelling on my solitude setting a new tone

 

The languages I should have learnt

The verbiage I should have burnt

The nuances I should have preserved

The understandings I should have deserved

The arrogances I should have erased

The bent I should have added with every phase

The mystique I should have treasured

The quality of life I should have measured

I am alive stumbling recovering hurting and healing

I am work in progress filled with familiarities and feeling

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Dents and repairs

Don’t focus on what you lack

The comeback is always stronger than the setback

We fall we break we fail we overcome we heal

We recoup our strength the most when we kneel

 

Don’t give up easily and just bide your time

The best view comes after the hardest climb

When it rains look for rainbows when its dark look for stars

The lionhearted own their beautiful scars

 

Don’t lose hope don’t lose heart

You will never be ready. Just start

You either have a crack at progress or a bunch of excuses

What would you rather have – a real story to tell or just muses

 

Don’t treat each day as eventual

Be obsessed with your own potential

If the plan does not work change the plan not the goal

Remember the reward for patience is ten-fold

 

Don’t stop until you are proud

Do it for yourself not to please the crowd

Those silent battles those broken dreams and what it meant

You have wiped your own tears now celebrate your strength

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Breathe

 

Learn to leave what does not make you happy

The heart will aggrieve unnecessarily

Mend the broken pieces like kintsugikurashi

Gratitude is that golden binding enhancing chi

Cry a little and laugh a lot

Be grateful for all the things you have got

Your pain is unique to you who will understand

You can only do as much as is in your hand

Learn to leave the rest to God

He is omnipotent so what if we are flawed

Who can solve your problems if not Him

Being is ubiquitous and challenge is your theme

Prayers can alter the lines across your hand

Engrave gratefulness in the heart write your worries in the sand

 

Learn to breathe take one day at a time

Practicing patience does not cost a dime

Heal the broken spirit each breath is on lease

Let go of your rigidity of thought and prejudice

Sadness comes and teaches us the value of happiness

Anxieties test our mettle that mettle is our premise

Nothing is forever joys and pains find evenness

Lifespans are spanned within set time and space

One day when we look back we will realize the futility

Of quibbles and squabbles and a material mentality

Forgetting and forgiving are the only things that benefit

The spirit and the soul indefinable pleasures are your profit

Learn to breathe let go of judgements that is the best cure

This moment is the only one you know you have for sure

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Fragments of time…

Fragments of the heart were lying around embittered

When came along some free time which I had frittered

Questioning my lack of enthusiasm and intent

Precious moments underutilized and somewhat spent

‘I am static I am moving I am gone yet you recall’ time said

If you don’t repair the spirit verily soon it will be dead

 

Fragments of memory were playing mischief with my mind

I kept going back for the things that I had left behind

Now time prodded me to keep in step with its pace

‘Don’t treat like I am yours forever I disappear without trace’

Wistfulness and lassitude will take over and hold sway

If you let yesterday use up too much space today

 

Fragments of timeworn relations were awaiting restoration

No stress-free task this it needs maturity and motivation

Time heals people said even as life passes by

When in reality life pauses God heals and time continues to fly

‘I am yours to spend yet not to own. I am free yet priceless still’

If it’s not destined it won’t work out if it’s meant for you it will

 

Fragments of my soul were being tested for their wisdom

Where trust was being broken faith was my fiefdom

It takes sadness to appreciate happiness and noise to value silence

The trouble is we think we have time it soon becomes our defense

Time reminded me ‘nobody was ever wise by chance’

If you are not learning your lessons how do you expect to advance

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Hope

The heart may break but the vision will be fixed

You don’t know what to feel the feelings will be mixed

Hope for a better tomorrow must replace the rage

Today it is time to turn the page

 

Feelings will expire and hurts will heal

Hope is a weapon that teaches you how to deal

The hardest battles are given to the strongest soldier

Fortitude is beauty in the eye of the beholder

 

Love yourself enough to know what you deserve

Trials and tribulations will transpire keep hope in reserve

The real smile is the one that has struggled through tears

Real strength comes when you learn to overcome your fears

 

Wired for struggle frail and fallible and your path is uphill

Like a bird that senses dawn and starts singing while it’s dark still

A heart full of hope will lend strength to survive and regenerate

Let your choices reflect your hope and your worries will relegate

 

Celebrate the past and cherry pick the wisdom you have gained

Everything will teach you something the happiness and the pain

Dig deeper you will find within you stuff to maneuver each bend

Some of the best moments of your life haven’t even yet happened

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Live once more

Urban designs and desires pump adrenalin

I am rushing past my own life close friends and kin

On every threshold of success I get restless again

Abundance is a risk I look at success with disdain

 

Gratefulness for tiny things escape my comprehension

Every morning when I open my eyes I have apprehension

Tons of material manna collected from some local heaven

Is this the happiness I sought I have no recall or ambition

 

Psychedelic lifestyles to impress the high and mighty

My voice is going shrill I think my mannerisms flighty

As I grow, old routines slow wisdom catches up politely

I gift myself the luxury of time my spirit becomes sprightly

 

If you did not know how old you are how old would you be

If you could revisit slices of your life which ones would they be

Good times happy times crazy times sad times all temporary

The ones that leave behind both a tear and a smile are worthy

 

Feel the crisp and crackling sunshine in your eyes at dawn

And take a reality check. You are alive the Reaper has gone

To collect another soul. While you seek more and become pawn

Beyond your acquisitions what are you if all desires are shorn?

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One direction

sometimes you need to get lost to discover direction

sometimes you need to lie low before taking any action

that quiet thought hidden deep in the recess of your mind

that compelling emotion embedded in the heart unsigned

perhaps you must heed to it and not believe it to be distraction

 

sometimes what you choose is different it does not mean you are lost

sometimes your dreams are high-priced they will come at a cost

that quiet confidence you have mustered in situations challenging

that untapped strength you never thought you had is there in waiting

perhaps you must rely on yourself and not expect others to play host

 

sometimes a peculiar mix of directions lost and found are at play

sometimes the timing is not tailored approaches clutter the way

that need for discipline and patience must be pondered upon

that realization that after each darkness filled storm there is a dawn

perhaps you must calmly wait for sunshine so to catch a ray

 

sometimes dreams are shattered and directions can go awry

sometimes wishes stay unfulfilled you cannot embellish your story

that determination to fight the odds when odds are stacked up

that power of each prayer when nerve and mood are racked up

perhaps you must learn to trust in God and stop feeling sorry

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In the corner

In the corner of my heart lie some wishes unexplored

Some the senses will not allow some I just cannot afford

Yet they refuse to go away like old tenants with régime rights

Sometimes I let them tempt me sometimes there ensue fights

 

In the corner of my mind lie some deliberations unsaid

Some are sedate and steady some play havoc in my head

Yet they rebel with my reason whenever I talk them down

Sometimes it makes me smile sometimes it makes me frown

 

In the corner of my room some treasures hide in plain sight

Some are steeped in nostalgia some make the room a blight

Yet they continue to be there I cannot throw them away

Sometimes they dawdle quietly sometimes they come in the way

 

In the corner of my eye some tears have been there for a while

Some are prone to betrayal some camouflage well as a smile

Yet they keep me alive (and sniffing) with sentiment on display

Sometimes they trigger ache sometimes they teach me to pray

 

In the corner of my soul some prayers are left unattended

Some I keep hesitating about some procrastination is unintended

Yet they are there always offering support and succor

Sometimes I feel invincible sometimes minion and meagre

 

In the corner of my heaven are some invisible helping hands

Some actively stand up for me some silently back my plans

Yet I have not expressed gratitude enough for all said and done

Sometimes I while away my time sometimes my resolve comes undone

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It takes time

it takes time to grow up still

sweat struggle strength and will

information is unusable without empathy

understanding is lopsided without sympathy

emotion is worthless without maturity

proficiency is pointless without clarity

it takes effort to know the difference

to evolve is logical chronology is inference

 

it takes time to befit humankind

passion and compassion yet neither should be blind

craving is covetousness without control

kind-heartedness is misdirected without a goal

sentiment is off-center without a definite role

moderation is meaningless without a soul

it takes molding of personality to become

character is not casual there is grind and some

 

it takes time to forgive and forget

overlook markdown ignore absolve and forfeit

hurt is hard to erase without fear

wound is sometimes visible even without a scar

moving on is impossible without raising the bar

patience is difficult without willpower

it takes special skills to preserve select memories

heart and head both pool in to smoothen anomalies